Yesterday was my first day back at work. I must say the anticipation of the big day was worse than the actual day. I cried all day Sunday and while I was getting ready for work and driving to work (the entire two miles). Once my classes started things were fine...just hard to imagine me not there with C. However, my mom (I think that is what gave me such peace) and C made it through the day just fine. I did too, I was just sad to be seperated. I couldn't wait to get home and love on my sweet Callen...however, he had other things in mind. When I walked (ran) in the door Callen wouldn't have anything to do with me. He just turned his head and looked away. Yes, he was mad that I had left him all day...it took him about an hour to finally want something to do with me. Made me sad that I had hurt his feelings...but, he and I both survived.
Now today on surviving is a different story. Callen's routine is completely out of wack with me not being there...I am sure it would be hard on a baby that has been with his mom 24/7 since he was born to just one day not have her there. Anyways...Callen went to bed with no problem last night around 7 (like normal)...but starting at 10:30 he woke up every hour on the hour for a little attention and love. Therefore, I was up every hour on the hour taking care of him. I am exhausted today and poor C ws just beside himself with exhaustion this morning. Hopefully his day with mom goes well and they can both have some peace.
I know leaving children with a babsitter is what the majority of parents do...I am continually telling myself this trying to fill the void I have. I know Callen will get use to me not being with him 24/7 and I know I will too...for now it is hard, but like everything "this too shall pass."
I am thankful my mom is here this week watching him...C loves her so much. If she just lived closer. And I am thankful for a wonderful job and wonderful people I work with (like the ones that bring me skittles and cheer me up). I know the thoughts and prayers got Callen and I through yesterday. Please keep them up so we can make it till we both adjust.
This blog really had nothing to do with Callen..sorry for my babble about work! However, I guess this is a big milestone for C.
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